dear christopher sauchak:

oh christopher sauchak.

i read your blog, in response to the previous question i asked myself, earlier today. i miss you too.

i will readily admit, i am jealous of your demographic location (yes even your desk/space problems), but only jealous because i'm not experiencing "office work" and this would allow me to have access to the internet at all times.
see, i think, imaginatively, i've been experiencing the same summer. i read "microserfs" (d.coupland) and was thrilled with the entire novel, the characters are so real you feel like you're part of team! yes, the team! the way you write (brilliantly) and observe worklife for spiketVIACOM, you should publish your notes. or write a novel. don't worry chris, contrary to modern belief, your story doesn't even have to be a story...it will still work, the consumer public is buying everything! these days.

i now you will eventually view come and see (its been so long though) and just for fun here's a few more you might want to add onto your list, some, which you have probably seen:

city of god, f. meirelles, katia lund
brazil, t. gilliam
elephant, g.van sant [and then read douglas coupland's "hey nastradamus!" ]
the dreamers, b.bertolucci
(au hasard) balthazar, robert bresson

interestingly enough, elephant's star-john robinson, is now playing stacey peralta in the 2005 release, "lords of dogtown." he's the one that ousted our man joshua robertson for the lead role, probably because he's a member of the screen-actors guild and has acting experience, plus he's got great thinblonde so-cal hair. josh looks like he's from the midwest.

in my own personal news:
i couldn't be more alone when i'm without andrea.
i watched "breathless" without subtitles, again.
i emailed donnie and he hasn't returned my long winded attempt to reconnect.

it has rained so much this summer, EVERY color, not only green, looks like its shot on DV.

culmination of suppression

even
when we
try to cover up the holes
we use the dirt from the hole's pile
and end up digging another hole.

she turned and looked out the front window of their house, over the lego lawn
past the weeping willow and into the neighbor's yard across the street. "where did those people come from?" she asked her mother, who shut the blinds and dressed her for gymnastics, she was going to be late for practice.

CCSMI (coginitive center of studies of the moving image)

@ CCSMI's (cognitive center of studies of the moving image) conference:

the brain has reached maximum capacity after attending an entire day (yesterday) of paper presentations by professors of philosophy, media studies and film from north america and europe.

in attendance was torben kragh grodal, a well known professor of media studies at the university of copenhagen, who seemed to be, if anything, insane. he used the conference to verbally (intellectually?) "one-up" all other professors in attendance of the conference, including well known film theorist david bordwell. the interesting part was that bordwell was about three rows back while grodal presented his "neoformalistic" approach and desire to revert back to the canonical narrative functions-looking directly into bordwell's eyes.

further notes:
andrea comes to grand rapids today, and the expected weather of the weekend should permit us to visit the beach. no work, no more of that academia conference, just andrea. ahhh, at peace again.

i must find a way to make this blog more "interactive," however, i am out of date with the common usage of computers. the world is passing me by.

TORBEN!

4 hours in the sun

after 4 hours in the sun, sand and cement:

nick and i dug trenches in the foundation of a soon to be suburban home, just outside of town. the development lacked dirt, clay or any other important element needed to stand firm, it was all sand.
so we dug sand trenches, creating water ways for the water to flow underneath the house, keeping an eye out for the "bleeders" and making sure not to cover them up.
either way, we were shirtless, covered in sweat and sand and the sun shone on our backs.

now i have to work and hungry howies.

will and i, or me and will

further updates:
will and i hung out this afternoon.

first i laboriously and selectively listened to him talk about film, speilberg (he's getting turned on to speilberg?).
we went to the camera center, where he purchased a $95 light meter with traveler's checks. will's credit past is pretty shaky, traveler's checks were the right move (hence, a la parents). he has changed, i noticed on the way to buy the light meter, will had full vision again. he had finally replaced his glasses with a pair of sleek, geek/hipster ray-ban's, which deflect glare through some extreme form of 2004 technology.
turns out, will is leaving wednesday for los angeles, where he'll stay with brad and get things going.
will toyed with his russian 16mm in front of me, asked me to edit his and brad's short film they create while out in l.a. with that "fine piece of artilery" (i say that only because its russian, which makes it cooler--but will will never really get anything tarkovsky/eisenstein/paradjanov-esque but maybe the essence will be there).
will continues to think i want something to do with l.a. i keep deferring. i am indifferent but i am from detroit. that is where i belong. plus, it was founded by the french (but i hear they feel sorry for those from "gotham city," especially the french-canadian). regardless, i don't dream the l.a. dream and i certainly don't wish to obtain any of their methods of filmmaking. not in a snobbish sense, but in a prude sense. i just can't bend over that much to get what i want. plus, its not what i want, its what "they*" want.
(*they, meaning the audience. will discuss further as i check out to refresh my memory with the correlation between visual medias and visual/audio perception by attending a film conference this week at my college.)

i've decided to re-continue my use of the blog.

additional notes:
came home from detroit this morning to find nick and unidentifiable girl passed out (both of them face down) on his twin bed. they looked comfortable but probably weren't at all.
i miss andrea.

i needed a change.
i still live life as if there were no answers.
 
i bought new shoes, and wearing them now.
this of course, took place after a brief reuniting with will, and then checkers.
 
will has been AWOL since we last saw him in may. he left giddings, happily in his parents toyota camry. the sad story about will was seeing him drop out of school with less than a semester to go in his fifth year of college. he seemed happy today, as we sat and caught up. other than the few, cheesy emails he's sent myself and nick about, "feeelm" (taken directly from his email) i still have minor respect for the kid. he did leave giddings in pieces, but then again, who wouldn't if they had the chance?
 
i've seen one to many faces awed and dazzled by the college experience today. new blood is prancing around campus and all faculty and student help is looking as fake as ever. the sun beats perfectly onto the lawn, making all objects it hits become crisp, digital and clear. the summer rain has made the leaves look alive, electronic green. they will all pass, as we did too. it probably happens faster these days, anyways. to naivety.