voice inside my head speaks on a twelve day college lecture tour:

lately, i've had no desire at all to write. to write about anything at all. my mind has been in other places, travelling to other lands and thinking about other things. although words once served as a solution to my confusions and doubts, it does not seem to do the trick at this stage. i tried writing earlier in here. as you can see, what resulted was a large piece of shit.
i thought about discontinuing this journal. while the cosmos are still cracking, and i still may be right, i have seem to hit some sort of wall at a clipping pace. i haven't made out what the wall is made of or how long it will be there, i'm still getting up and my head is still a little fuzzy. even as i type now, i'm still churning out one large piece of shit.
its hard for me to sit down here and write something. what always runs through my mind is what is the next greatest thing i could write about or who's head i'll turn. it just shouldn't work that way. prior, i wrote for myself, i didn't write one large piece of shit.
or, maybe i did? today is a bizarre day. i'm doing a bit of recovering from an exodus of reality yesterday. i returned safely, but the journey has worn my mind and body, some much needed rest took place and i'm still trying to figure out which world is real and which is not or, if i'm capable of entering the world i journeyed yesterday without the willing assitance i had in my hands.
deadlines are destroying my life.
i still think of her more than i should.
i begin my new job tomorrow.
oh, i'll let you know when i find her. hopefully it will be before the year 2010 (and it will be).
one, large piece of shit.