previously written material is now surfacing these pages (and this journal burns me from a distance at my desk):

low is playing an i'm confused
many thoughts begin to rush through--
in an earlier life or a different stage
i thought things would be harder at an older age.

i was right, but not on boastful terms
specifically in that i had already learned, (and continue to)
as i wonder what will kill me first
this cigarette i inhale or the distance across the earth
so difficult to cover but seems worth my time
because only a memory of her exists in my mind.

so as i lay me down to sleep
i pray my eyes will close and my thoughts will cease
and rest will prevail throughout the night
because with this distance growing i no longer know what is wrong, and what is right.

in the changer: lullaby for the working class "blanket warm"
this evening's film: david maysles, albert maysles and charlotte zwerin "gimme shelter"